"Section 31" is Star Trekacularly BAD

Director: Olatunde Osunsanmi

Writers: Craig Sweeny, Bo Yeon Kim, Erika Lippoldt

Cast: Michelle Yeoh, Omari Hardwick, Sam Richardson

Studios: Paramount Plus, CBS Television Studios

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Trekkies, if you are hoping for good news about Section 31, the latest addition to the "Star Trek" empire, get the Vulcan out of here. It's just not possible with this intergalactic schlock. And if you're hoping for something completely spoiler-free, we're afraid that's not possible either.

What's more upsetting than the soup of storytelling this inaugural--and possibly the last--"Star Trek" TV movie result is that Michelle Yeoh wanted this. Badly.

In 2019, the Oscar winner who would become Emperor Philippa Georgiou shared with CBS, "I'm so excited to continue telling these rich 'Star Trek' stories," Yeoh said. "Being a part of this universe and this character specifically has been such a joy for me to play. I can't wait to see where it all goes – certainly, I believe it will go 'where no WOMAN has ever gone before!'"

Well, she did. To a black hole somewhere behind the Small Magellanic Cloud.

Star Trek: Section 31 Needs Some Discovery of Its Own

From L to R: Kacey Rohl, Omari Hardwick, Michelle Yeoh, and Sam Richardson in Star Trek: Section 31. (Credit: Jan Thijs/Paramount+)

Michelle Yeoh is an actress of discipline and study. She has proven that throughout her movies. For example, if you saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, or any of her keen Hong Kong movies from the 1980s and 1990s, you see the girl has skills—not only acting but martial arts.

We bring that up because she's not a martial artist at all. Yeoh grew up in Malaysia as a fan of the theater, and that's where she stayed. It showed because the actress is divinely talented. Yet, those skills? Well, she is a brilliant creature of habit and deep study.

The dazzling, at one time, Lt. Phillipa Georgiou (Credit: Jan Thijs via CBS Television Studios)

In 2017, Yeoh joined Star Trek: Discovery as Lt. Philippa Georgiou. After staying with the insightful series for three seasons, her character was planned to move up the ranks. Yeoh was brilliant and ended up as a barbaric Terran leader.

Then, she encountered an enemy even Starfleet couldn't beat. COVID destroyed everything in its path, including plans for future Star Trek shows, like Section 31.

Although Georgiou was adept at time travel, the minutes stood still. Section 31 was supposed to come together for a film during quarantine, which is why Yeoh was talking about it then. She wanted this role to continue. Given the years it took to make it happen, it's a certainty she expected this script to have a better effect than being stunned by a stupid phaser. Yet, that's about the sum of what happened.

Today, it's the laughable recipient of the second-worst Rotten Tomatoes score in the entire "Star Trek" franchise at 31%. Insurrection, Enterprise, and even the deplorable Nemesis fared better. Simply put, this film doesn't belong in the franchise. Not even the Roddenberry dog would have recognized it, post-burial.

What misfired with Section 31?

Word is still out if that is a real dumpster fire Yeoh in which Yeoh is surrounded. (Credit: Jan Thijs/Paramount+)

When we get inside Section 31, Georgiou is an empress of tyranny in the Prime Universe for a gang of misfits, similar to Jabba the Hutt in another like-minded space version of the Old West. That's when the aforementioned "misfires" begin. Not in the "pew-pew-pew" way known to Star Trek lore, but in the mental "wait, what" way.

There was a colossal plothole from Discovery to Section 31, and it seemed Olatunde Osunsanmi led the entire cast to step right into it. Somehow, Georgiou is not quite the person we thought she was. Section 31 is the enigmatic Black Ops division working to save the Prime Universe. Her entire team must navigate the thrilling Mirror Universe to do it, but the foibles we need to endure to get to the movie's climax "blow up" any goodwill we had watching this spacecraft crash.

(Okay, that's a hint of a spoiler. We're trying to be disciplined here.)

Well, here's another. The film's synopsis reads:

Michelle Yeoh reprises her fan-favorite role as Emperor Philippa Georgiou — a character she played in Star Trek: Discovery — who joins a secret division of Starfleet. Tasked with protecting the United Federation of Planets, she also must face the sins of her past.

She does, but you have to make this uncomfortable journey to discover that part. Amid the question marks and inconsistent storyline, there were some redeeming qualities of Section 31. Well-considered additions to Georgiou's team like Rachel Garrett (Kacey Rohl), San (James Hiroyuki Liao), and the venerable Quasi (Sam Richardson). There is also the climactic encounter with San, who has this emotional kinship similar to Khan of Star Trek II: Wrath and Star Trek 2: Darkness fame.

He's fueled by revenge, living in the Mirror Universe, and can't wait to find his former pal, Philippa Georgiou. Their conflict is riveting. If anything is redeemable about Section 31, it's this. Not much else, regretfully, as the banter between the two doesn't connect with the action. It's as if the fight scenes were choreographed by Donnie Yen or Yuen-Woo Ping, but the writing was created by an intern with Hallmark.

Yeoh's character does succeed in confronting her past and "closes the door" of the sins behind her. (Okay, that was really the last one.) After the entire saga of Section 13, it feels like we should have done the same.

THE NERD ELECTIVE (SCORE): 5/10